i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize