i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
