is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
