She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
zippers are such a cool invention
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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