we have pet lesbian snakes
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
