How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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