I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
