He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We are all done wearing pants today
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
