Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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