Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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