So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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