he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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