yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
