But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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