I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
