How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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