i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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