We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
