Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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