That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
