do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
