I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
