I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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