She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
