I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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