just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
