U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
soo... how was my night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
