I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
