he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
