I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think a kid would responsible me up
just found out that she named her cat after me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
