idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
