I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
