made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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