Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
