Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
