Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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