I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
