id be glad to
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
