Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize