oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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