No awkward lesbian experiences without me
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
