my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
