Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
