No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
