She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Randomize
