If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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