I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
