its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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