im gay
i know
yea but for you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
