If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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